repost

i didn't write this. i just want to share this beautiful entry to you guys, my avid readers-slash-followers. i saw this from somebody else's blog and i was affected by how that person has written this entry. his (coz i think he's a guy) words are deep and moving, you could actually feel his pain, it's as if he's in front of you telling you what happened . hands down to this guy. mabuhay ka! :D

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Twisted Love.

We all have our weaknesses, some more vulnerable than others. Mine, well I have this tendency to put up with being treated horribly but I stand there and take it because I’m afraid if I change it I’ll lose someone I care about. I guess I’m not the only one who has this tendency.

I’ll stand there and be hurt over and over almost in a masochistic fashion, and at times I hurt you back but the pain never compares to one that I would feel if I had lost you completely. It’s just a trap we’ve found ourselves in and maybe we love the way it is, and we don’t want it to change. So hurt me, inflict whatever pain you wish and watch me come crawling back just to hear you say those words that numb my pain more than anything.

Your words however cruel, however painful fade to nothing when you tell me you love me. Your cuts, however deep heal the moment you hold me. Somehow they make me stronger in the eyes of the outside world. I’m like a lost puppy, you kick me, you can torture me but I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth because I don’t belong anywhere else. A lifetime of pain is made up for by a few single moments where you show me affection. Maybe I’m crazy but I’d bleed for years for the single second in which you make me smile.

Sometimes I question how this could ever be love. But if it makes us happy who’s to say it’s wrong? Everyone puts their own label on love. It doesn’t need to be defined, you break my heart and I break yours, but we fix it in time and I know it’s crazy and completely insane but the few moments where you make me feel loved are worth it. Love isn’t all Romeo and Juliet, it’s more of a fight with the devils inside of one another.

hard. harder. hardest.

When I fell in love with you I expected a lot of things, you know, happiness, joy and all things you come to expect from love. The things we learn from movies and books, sorrow, heartbreak and all, included. Not that I prepared myself for any of those of course.

What I didn't expect was how difficult it would be to love beyond the scope of you. How hard it would be to fall in love with someone else. Not that it’s impossible, just that it’s hard. I never really expected to fall in love with someone so much that it changes the very fabric of what I conceived love to be. It’s just way too difficult to love someone that isn’t you. And you can do all you want, all you can for my betterment to push me away. But the fact is I just can’t stop loving you. You can push me away, you can ignore me, you can hate me, you can forget I ever existed, you can tell me it was all a lie, you can move on. But I just can’t stop loving you, that glint in your eyes, the one that’s so difficult to see in any other set of eyes says that somewhere deep inside you love me too. But even that makes it even harder to love another, it never seems to get any easier.

There’s just no escaping it, I can be away from you months on end, with no contact whatsoever, however it never ceases to get more and more difficult to love someone else. To want their lips more than I want yours, to crave their touch as much as I do yours. To hear their voice when it isn’t and will never be as soothing as yours. I never expected to fall so hard. I never thought it would be so difficult to love again. It gets harder and harder to love, like it gets harder and harder to breathe without you.

valor

VALOR

They keep on yakking and bugging our heads.

That they view the farthest and knew the best.

They say what they think but what can they know?

None of their words could make me let go.

They say it's wrong, to love you is a mistake.

That a relationship like ours the world cannot take.

I don't care about the world, I'll heed their words instead.

If to love you is really wrong, I don't want to be corrected.

They said there is time, I'd find someone new.

They just can't see there's no one like you.

They told me to look around, there's something better.

But I've got the best, why would I bother?

They said it's crazy, what I feel can't be love.

But how can they tell, they don't know enough.

They said I'm stupid, I can't be meant for you.

When would they know I can't live without you?

They can say what they want, but I'll hold on tight.

I will never give up, not in this fight.

No matter what happens we will stay together.

There's no need to worry, we have each other.

i won't give up

sa panahon ngayon, bihira na yung mga kantang may "sense". konti na lang talaga yung kantang mapapa-oh shit ka sa ganda. kung meron man, hindi ganun ka-sikat kasi mas pinapaboran ng madlang pipol yung mga kantang upbeat at pang-party. 

karamihan kasi ng magagandang kanta pati magagaling na singer ay underrated. hindi man lahat, pero mas pinipili kasi ng tenga nung ibang tao yung "in" sa panlasa ng karamihan.

iba-iba naman tayo ng trip na kanta eh. nasulat ko lang yung nasa taas para may intro ako sa entry na 'to. hehe

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january 2 ng lumabas 'tong kanta ni Jason Mraz na "I Won't Give Up" sa YouTube, at naging instant hit agad ito. nag-trending pa sa twitter at magaganda ang reviews ng mga critics dito. 

the lyrics are amazing, the melody is relaxing and jason's voice is perfect. (wow english, feeling critic haha)

nung narinig ko 'to, na-LSS agad ako. and i hope to do a cover of this one soon (feeling singer naman haha). okay, nuff said. here you go. :D

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"I Won't Give Up"

by Jason Mraz

When I look into your eyes

It's like watching the night sky

Or a beautiful sunrise

There's so much they hold

And just like them old stars

I see that you've come so far

To be right where you are

How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space

To do some navigating

I'll be here patiently waiting

To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn

Some even fall to the earth

We've got a lot to learn

God knows we're worth it

No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily

I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make

Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use

The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake

And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend

For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn

We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in

I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not

And who I am

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)

God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)

We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)

God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

what if?

what if it's too late?


....


what would you do when you realized that the person you have taken for granted turns out to be the one you've been looking for all this time, but that person has already found someone and they're already happy?


it sucks, right? hello, regret! hello, disappointments! 


and the reason behind all this shit was that you were too "afraid" to fall in love that time due to some traumatic experiences in the past.


sounds pathetic, i know, but you can't blame me. after all, i'm not a risk-taker, well, except now, coz i finally realized that nothing will happen if i'll stay comfy and relaxed within my comfort zone.


do you think it's too late for me to make a move? well, i think they're not yet "official" but whenever i see their pictures on FB (thanks FB for makin me feel jealous, LOL) they seem very happy together. i'm not sure, coz it's normal for people to smile and look happy on pictures, but their's, hmmmm, there's something fishy going on between them. assuming? i don't know. gut feeling? yeah, probably, i can trust it sometimes.


there's more. one time, while i was scanning her profile, i saw a post from that guy and holy gamowlee (i just invented that word coz i can't think of any adjective to describe how "holy" that post was), he was waaaaaaaaaay too sweet than an ordinary friend could ever be and he even used a term-of-endearment-shit to address her. well, the good thing was she didn't like that post nor left a comment. but that doesn't mean she didn't feel *kilig* while reading that post.


*bling* *bling* you could see a big "I'M-JEALOUS-AS-FUCK" sign on my forehead while writing this, but hey, you can't blame me, eh?! :P


i liked that girl, even until now, but i never had the courage to let her know how i felt. she was a classmate during 2nd year college and after that, even if we weren't classmates anymore, we still see each other coz our school wasn't that big and we have common friends which makes it easier for me to see her but whenever we're talking, damn, i can't help but be torpe. i guess i don't need to describe how a torpe guy acts, alam niyo na yan.:D


now, what can you say? i'm stupid, right? well, we do stupid things sometimes. but mine's a loooooooot worse, isn't it? haha :D


so, what will happen to my i'm-torpe-so-now-i'm-suffering story? i have no idea.


but now, to be honest, i feel shitty. regret's fillin me and it has made a deep hole within me. i'm so disappointed. i'm weak. i'm lame. a lot of "if-only's" are running in my head. but, i think, it's too late......


i guess all i need to do now is to accept the fact that i let her slip away because of my katorpehan and embrace the repercussions of my own stupidity. i'm happy that she's happy, that sounds martir, but that's life. well, i'm proud to say that i've learned my lessons and i hope to never do the same mistake again.


so, to all the torpes out there, 4 things:
-take risks
-set aside the "what-if's"
-don't be afraid
-be confident!


let's rock and roll. :)


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this song goes to all the torpes out there. this is "for you i will(confidence)" by teddy geiger. :D